I just thought of something funny...your mother.
- Cheech Marin
Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk,
my first instinct is to laugh.
But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me.
Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.
- Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts
OK, so what's the speed of dark ?
- Steven Wright
Last night I stayed up late playing poker with
Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people
died
- Steven Wright
I bought some powdered water, but I don't know
what to add to it.
- Steven Wright
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BigRUSS Posts: 2118
Phone Model: two cans ( del monte) and some string,
Service Provider: RussCo
Mon May 22, 2006 3:34 pm
i was born a poor black child
steve martin "the jerk"
hey girl you hungry??
f you nI@#$
HALF BAKED
"im somebodys bitch "
half baked
Bjoern Posts: 3610
Phone Model: Nokia E61
Service Provider: o2 Germany
Mon May 22, 2006 4:13 pm
Dogma [Silent Bob has just thrown a passenger off a train and turns back to the stunned passengers.]
Silent Bob: No ticket.
Jay & Silent Bob strike back
Jay: [after trying to figure out what Silent Bob is trying to tell him] Well, come on! SAY IT already!
Silent Bob: THE SIGN! ON THE BACK OF THE CAR! IT SAID "CRITTERS OF HOLLYWOOD", YOU DUMB F*CK!
Clerks
Silent Bob: "Y'know there's a million fine looking women in the world, dude, but they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of them just cheat on you."
BigRUSS Posts: 2118
Phone Model: two cans ( del monte) and some string,
Service Provider: RussCo
Mon May 22, 2006 6:33 pm
clerks
Jay "this job would be great if it wasnt for all the f'en customers"
steva11 Posts: 1677
Phone Model: w810i/pearl
Service Provider: Rogers
Mon May 22, 2006 10:39 pm
A girl phoned me the other day and said .... Come on over, there's nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home. (Rodney Dangerfield)
One day as I came home early from work ..... I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy .... Hey buddy .... why are you doing that for? He said .... Because you came home early. (Rodney Dangerfield)
It doesn't matter what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature. (Steven Wright)
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. (Henny Youngman)
I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." The girl at the counter said, "Would you like some fries with that?" - Jay Leno
Jack_Smack Posts: 16
Tue May 23, 2006 10:25 am
"I can't die until the government find a safe place to bury my liver" - Phil Harris
"Either this wallpaper goes or I do" - Oscar Wilde's last words
"Look at all the ice in that! I'm surprised she didn't stick her cock in it as well" - Annie Jaffa
Last edited by Jack_Smack on Mon Jul 02, 2007 6:50 pm, edited 1 time in total
BigRUSS Posts: 2118
Phone Model: two cans ( del monte) and some string,
Service Provider: RussCo
Tue May 23, 2006 2:29 pm
i used to suck D*&^ for coke !!!!!you ever suck D*$# for some marajuana?????
Bob Sagget "Half Baked "
steva11 Posts: 1677
Phone Model: w810i/pearl
Service Provider: Rogers
Tue May 23, 2006 3:04 pm
the bob saget bit was sweet, but it was from billy madison.
BigRUSS Posts: 2118
Phone Model: two cans ( del monte) and some string,
Service Provider: RussCo
Tue May 23, 2006 3:12 pm
no sir, it was from half baked
steva11 Posts: 1677
Phone Model: w810i/pearl
Service Provider: Rogers
Tue May 23, 2006 3:18 pm
really? it's been awhile since i saw half-baked, but he made a similiar comment on billy madison.
