Yesterday I was at my local Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit the Wonder Dog, and was in the checkout line when the woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had, an elephant?
So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward, with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet, and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me.
I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass, and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack -- he was laughing so hard. Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.
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miva88 Posts: 9
Mon Mar 30, 2009 8:16 pm
LOL! that's a good one, but i think its abit of overdose of sarcasm towards her
McGirk Posts: 2411
Phone Model: AX380 Wave
Service Provider: Alltel
Tue Apr 21, 2009 12:05 am
I don't, ask a stupid question, expect a smart . . . uh . . . alec answer.
porsha487 Posts: 45
Phone Model: LG Xenon
Service Provider: ATT
Tue Apr 21, 2009 9:14 am
That is toooooooooooo funny. LOL
boonsgirl Posts: 427
Phone Model: LG
Service Provider: Telus
Thu Apr 23, 2009 2:56 pm
that's is way too funny. . .
jojoyotsm Posts: 29
Sun Apr 26, 2009 10:13 pm
That is funny.
porsha487 Posts: 45
Phone Model: LG Xenon
Service Provider: ATT
Wed Aug 26, 2009 3:54 pm
Walmart ripped me off yesterday. I bought a small lunch pack cooler for $5.00 and she charged me 3 times for it and voided one of the entries. Still leaving me to pay $10.00. I didnt realize it till i got home later that evening.
MurphyLaw Posts: 58
Phone Model: Apple iPhone 3G
Service Provider: AT&T
Wed Aug 26, 2009 4:42 pm
dvmobile,
please tell me that is not a true story? I'm so putting this on Facebook. The funniest thing I read all year.
porsha487 Posts: 45
Phone Model: LG Xenon
Service Provider: ATT
Fri Aug 28, 2009 9:38 am
Its true. I went back to walmart and showed them the reciept and they gave me my $5.00 bucks back. The really weird thing is that on the reciept, she scanned the cooler, then scanned another item, then the cooler again, then a another item, then the cooler again. So it wasnt like the it was 3 in a row on the reciept like it was actually a easy mistake. I think the cashier is running a scam
